Rev 12:11 They overcame him because the Lamb gave his life’s blood for them. They overcame him by giving witness (testimony) about Jesus to others. They were willing to risk their lives, even if it led to death.

My childhood

My life with God started at a very young age. My mother taught me to pray every night when I went to bed. It was just one of those little rhymes, which adults teach little children for memory. Through this I learned, that there was this big person called God, who supposedly could do anything.
When I went to school, for many years we had a class called religion. It basically taught stories from the bible. Interestingly all the students were divided up in catholic and lutheran class rooms. Those were the two basic denominations in Germany. In 7th grade the Gideon's handed out New Testaments to every student in school. I started reading it to fill in the dots in between the individual stories, which I had been taught.

At the same time I got depressed often. My parents are both high achievers and pushed me in nearly every aspect of life to be the same or better. To my dad a person's occupation is everything in life. For my mother everything has to be planned out, every event has to happen in a certain way and every person is supposed to act and react a certain way. Still today she is some kind of perfectionist. Getting good grades in school and being among the best in class was mandatory for me. I could only be friends with certain kids, not with others. In short, I was criticized an awful lot. It got to the point were I thought to myself, that I couldn't do anything right and it would be better just to end this life. Many nights I was laying in bed awake with a large knife in my hand thinking how I could kill myself. Since everything I did was wrong, why was I even living. I was good for nothing on this earth.
The New Testament I was reading was still just a bunch of stories and one day I chucked it into the trash, figuring, that it was not of any help. What difference would it make if I would know more about this Jesus, if my parents kept telling me all day long, what I was doing wrong and hardly ever, that I was doing any good?
I sat there sometimes staring into nowhere, feeling like I was the only real person and the rest of the world was disconnected from me like a TV show. A terrible fear and loneliness beyond description then grabbed me, getting ready to suck me into a huge hole, where I was going to live in loneliness for eternity.

To my surprise this little New Testament showed up on my desk again. Apparently my mother found it in the trash and picked it out and put it back for me to find it. Eventually I started reading it again. My mother made me read books all the time. So at least reading was not something I was criticized for, as long as I did not do it when I was supposed to sleep.

This time reading something happened to me. I don't know how to describe it correctly. I don't know if it was because Jesus was criticized all the time, too. Or if it was because Jesus did so many odd things in his time, like I was doing. I was the only one in my class who loved farming and tractors. I was the only one who wore hand me down cloth and shoes. It was not until I was in high school, that I got my first pair of new jeans, which actually fit right, were brand new and in style. This was not because my parents were poor. No, my parents own a very nice house, which they had built, before I started school. And as far as I can tell this house was bigger than any of the homes of my class mates. The hand me down cloths apparently was one of the many ways how my parents funded the big house. The big house however did not make me feel any better in school, when I was mocked for the cloth and the glasses I wore or the interests I had. I was not any good in sports either. Luckily sports don't have nearly the importance in school in Germany as they have in America. But I was still always the last one to be chosen for a team.

So here was this little book telling me about this Jesus, who seemed to be about as odd in his time as I felt in mine and proclaimed to be the way to heaven. And He could do all these miracle, signs and wonders, way better than superman or any other hero. The miracle happened and I believed, that it is all true what is written about Jesus and suddenly suicide was not an option anymore in my life. I was in eighth grade, when I decided for myself, that God is real and that He is the big boss over all the universe.

I was still mocked in school, struggled to be part of "it" and still could not please my parents. But there was this force now, that kept pushing me on and told me, that it didn't matter so much how odd I was as long as I obeyed God. I never considered my parents bad. I love them. They spent a lot of time and money on my education, health, living, etc. My dad even bought me my first car, which I did not expect at all. Still I thought, that they never really had an idea what was going on inside of me and they still don't to this day.

About a year and a half later I was confirmed in the Lutheran church. I don't recall learning anything there that helped or meant anything to me. It was not that I did not care, but the teaching I received was a dead teaching. I had no idea what John 3:16 meant. My parents taught me a good value system, but they never based it on Scripture.

College years

When I moved out of my parents house and into college life, there were more adults influencing me. When the advise of my parents and that of my uncle for example would conflict, I had to make my own decision. Unfortunately I had no own standard to base my decisions on as I know now. I went through college and did all the common partying with lots of alcohol. I thank God that I did not enter into any bad relationships or did something with harsh consequences.

During this time I read the bible as Martin Luther had translated it into German. But it was an old style German like the King James bible is an old style of English, hard to understand and I retained little.

I had my first girl friend when I was 24. We talked about getting married but after three years I ended the relationship. It took me many years before I began to understand why I could not make this relationship work. We both had good values and a lot in common, but we did not know what those values were based on. Neither one of us had a clue how God wanted a male-female relationship to be, that should lead to marriage. Paul teaches God's commandments on marriage in Ephesians 5 and Peter talks about it in 1Pet 3. But I did not learn about this until many years later in America. We did not have sex, but I understood just recently, that even sleeping together before the wedding is evil in God's eyes. One day, already long in America, I read a passage in scripture about harlotry, when the Holy Spirit opened my eyes and I understood, that sleeping together without being married is just that - harlotry. It is pretending and acting like being married, but it is not real and God hates everything that is not true. I wish someone would have explained that to me, when I was 24. Then I probably would be married and have a family now.

After college I decided to explore the promised land as I pictured the USA in my mind. I started on the east coast, went to the west coast and back. I saw a lot of beautiful country, met a lot of friendly people and experienced a great freedom. The by far deepest impression I received on a farm in Lake Preston, SD. I wanted to experience American farm life and knocked on the door of Carol and Arnold Wienk's house. They took me in that same day. I lived with them and helped them on the farm. They treated me as if I was their very own son. I will never forget this.
After all these expereinces, I decided that this was the country I wanted to live in. I went back to Germany an prayed to the God who has kept me alive to this day to let me go to America. But it took a while. I split with my girl friend and had to move out of my uncles house. I moved into a lonely apartment with a tyrannical landlord who stuck his nose in all of my things and constantly told me that I was doing something wrong. I changed jobs, to travel less and to hopefully have a more secure occupation, but it did not come to pass. My back pain, that I was struggling with since I was 16 increased even more. I got so stressed out, that I crashed one day and a friend took me to the emergency room.
I cried out to God for help. I moved into a different apartment just about the time, when I received this phone call, that would change my whole life. A company in America wanted an electrical engineer from Germany. I was chosen and five years of prayer were answered.

Moving to America

I moved to Virginia. This was not my favorite part of America, but I gladly determined to be content until I had the chance to move west. This chance came much sooner than I expected. Internal management quarrels at this company, which I did not understand terminated my job after a short year. A friend in Virginia pointed me to custom harvesting and I moved to Kansas. Harvest was my favorite time of the year in Germany, but I never envisioned to do this for a living, while  in a camper and moving from state to state. Because of the immigration struggles this job, too ended after a short year. Then everywhere I turned the doors closed on me and I got very depressed. In my despair I remembered, that God had brought me to America and surely He would make it work out, too. I laid my burden at HIS feet and never worried again about immigration or finding a job. 
Half a year later I could join another custom harvester who seemed to be a lot more determined and knowledgeable to work with immigration. He wanted me to be his foreman, manage his harvesting crew and all of the equipment. I worked myself into this job and loved it far more than any other job I ever had and still do.

There in Lucas, at the age of 32 I purchased my first English bible and read it. Over the years I read it three times from cover to cover and marked and underlined text and wrote comments in it. At the same time I listened to Christian radio and learned a lot from various teachers over the air waves. Lucas is a small town of maybe 400 people with an hour drive to the next city. There was a Lutheran, a Baptist and a Methodist church there and the independent one we started ourselves. After some years I desired to grow spiritually in a church that would teach and practice the whole bible - God's word. I started praying about this, while everybody else seemed at spiritual standstill around me.

In the meantime I kept studying Scripture and was freed from an addiction, which I first had to recognize as an addiction. I always felt bad, when I did it, but I could not find any help in God's word about it. One day I heard the Holy Spirit in my mind explaining my addiction to me from the bible verses I was reading. Then He promised to help me to overcome it. That day not only marked the end of my addiction, it also marked the beginning of my relationship with the Holy Spirit, the third person of the Trinity. Before this life changing event I had heard of the Holy Spirit but never understood His purpose or how to relate to Him. Today I know, that because of my desire to grow spiritually and draw closer to God, the Holy Spirit revealed Himself to me. Years later I would learn, that this event is also referred to as being baptized by the Holy Spirit.

During those days in Lucas I read a book called "The making of America" by W.Cleon Skousen. I found, that Skousen did a phantastic job explaining how the founding fathers used biblical principals and God's guidelines to compose the U.S. constitution and establish a new form of government, which would outperform and outlast any other so called democratic form of government. Through this book and my bible studies I understood how America could become the most blessed nation on earth. But I also understood how the present distancing of America from God (and constant violation of the constitution) is leading to more and more problems and a downturn in this great nation.

Custom harvesters were struggling in those days. Commodity prices were low and so was our income. Good help was hard to find and some drought years made the situation worse. Then came 9-11, fuel prices started to climb steeply worsening the situation. The bad temper of my boss didn't help to run the business, it grew worse as things got tighter. After another wreck caused by poor help he decided to quit harvesting and set the auction date. It took me a long time to realize, that I had to move on and find a new job. At least I was free now to take any job I could get, because I had finally received my green card. That was a prayer, which I had prayed firmly but not often and God answered it six years later.
My bosses temper grew so bad that he blamed everybody for him having to quit and that included me especially as I had to realize. After six years of laboring for him without any complain from my side and giving my best all the time, he would not even give me a good reference, when I applied for jobs.

Garden City

But God in his mercy and grace turned this evil for good again. I ended up getting a job in Garden City and I know now, that was exactly were God wanted me to be. It took over a year before I got over the pain with my old boss. I was never this hurt before in my whole life. Praying for him helped the forgiving and healing process the most.
I also concluded, that shutting down the harvesting business and therefore terminating my job was God's way to move me to another place. Otherwise I would still be harvesting and living in Lucas without a spiritual church.

On my first free weekend in Garden City I experienced God's guidance again in the sweetest way. I sat in my apartment praying to God to show me the church he wanted me to join. One day a stranger knocked on my door. He had moved into the apartment across the lot about the same time I did. When he spotted my bible on my table, he asked me if I was looking for a church to go to. Then he gave me the bulletin from Cornerstone Church. The following Sunday I went there and never looked back. I learned more within the environment of Cornerstone Church in 3 years, than I had learned in the previous 30 years. The life group in the home of Destal and Laurie Tyler was at least half of this fellowship environment.

I learned of the ministries of the Holy Spirit and received my prayer language during my first summer at Cornerstone. About a month before my 39th birthday I was water baptized at Cornerstone. This again changed me unexpectedly. Before my baptism I thought of God mainly, when it was time for my evening prayer. Now I am thinking of God and what HE wants me to do most of the day. I was also prophesied over by a team of prophetically gifted believers, an extremely exciting event. I wrote my prophecy on paper and look at it sometimes for encouragement.
Three months after my baptism I decided to discard all my secular music. This is one of those guidances from the Holy Spirit. I felt strongly, that I would miss out on something good, if I would listen to any of my secular music again. It is part of the "new life" that comes along with being baptized. Later on I learned, that Satan once was the most beautiful angel in heaven. Some scholars conclude, that he was also the worship leader in heaven at that time. I can easily believe that Satan is well versed in music and uses it to seduce men.

Through a teaching by Robert Morris "The power of your words", I learned why my old boss lost his business and that I had to change, too. I already had started working against my strong sarcasm and foul language while I was still harvesting, because I saw on my boss what is was leading to and how it was very counterproductive in managing and teaching a crew of young and eager foreign students.
But with this biblical teaching and foundation I also understood the deep spiritual consequences which our often so careless words have. Therefore Jesus said in Mt 12:36 "But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken."
Pr 26:18 Like a madman shooting firebrands or deadly arrows Pr 26:19 is a man who deceives his neighbor and says, “I was only joking!”
Eph 5:4 Let there be no filthiness (obscenity, indecency) nor foolish and sinful (silly and corrupt) talk, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting or becoming; but instead voice your thankfulness [to God].

But know I had to learn not to loose my humor over this teaching. With God everything has a balance.

Rather unnoticed I also lost my desire for loud parties and alcohol during my years in Lucas. I learned, that a person can be either filled with the spirit of alcohol or the Holy Spirit. I gladly choose the latter.

During my first year in Garden City and the healing process, I kept a lot to myself, because I was afraid to say something wrong. I was often ridiculed for my behavior, not joining into the coarse joking, drinking and profanity at work. Another book sent into my hands by God helped me to overcome this kind of intimidation, which is authored by satan to keep us from sharing the Gospel. This book is written by John Bevere (www.messengerintl.org) with the title "Breaking Intimidation".
It took about a year before I got my humor back. Now I have to watch again not to go overboard on the funny side.

In 2007 God called me into helping the 5th and 6th grade children, called Verge at church. I had opportunity to teach a lot and in turn God taught me a lot through the children. I learned some more of how far society has moved away from God and His guidelines for a successful life. I learned better how to see where another person is in life or how far away they are from God.
Another great book by John Bevere "Driven by Eternity" fundamentally changed my outlook on this life on earth. This has become my favorite book of all. John Bevere's teaching gave me a glimpse of eternity and life in heaven. There is a great audio drama with the book. With eternity in mind I can let go of even more earthly things, worry less and focus more on what God wants me to do on earth. John Bevere is the teacher from God, who has spoken most into my life. 

In my job I am still facing great difficulties, because I am working mostly with unsaved people, who do not know Jesus Christ. But I know, that I can not change any other person. This is God's job to do. Rather while being part of His kingdom I have to live a life on earth in a way that others can see Christ living in me. If an unsaved person can not see the difference between a follower of Jesus and the rest of the world, he will not have a desire to seek God. This is one way to plant a seed in another persons life. As Paul writes in 1.Cor 3:6, that he planted and another person watered, but God is still the one who makes it grow. No one else can make faith grow in another person.

The young generation is especially on my heart, because they will shape the future of our nation and the world. By the end of 2007 I was called to sign up with BigBrothersBigSisters. I was matched with a lively 9 year old boy. My greatest wish is, that he will obtain and learn a value system for himself based solemnly on God's Word.

Another great book came into my life through Destal and Laurie's lifegroup. "A more excellent way" by Pastor Henry W. Wright. Pastor Wright who leads a healing ministry based on his combined knowledge of modern medicine and the depth of Scripture. I learned about the connection between our many diseases and the guidelines God has given us for a whole and healthy life. Most of these decrees are written in Dt 27:9 - 28:68, with the key verse being Dt 28:60 He will bring upon you all the diseases of Egypt that you dreaded, and they will cling to you. Dt 28:61 The LORD will also bring on you every kind of sickness and disaster not recorded in this Book of the Law, until you are destroyed. That is, if we don't turn back to God.
Henry Wright's teaching culminates in Hos 4:6 my people are destroyed from lack of knowledge.
I understood from this book, why I got allergies, when I was maybe 10 years old. It was from the stress trying to please my parents but never being able to. I understood why I got acne, when I was a young teenager. It was from peer pressure and the futile attempt of trying to "fit in" in a secular world. I understood why I got chronic back pain. It was from anxiety to perform - at first in school, then in college, then in my jobs. I learned to trust God more, to discern even better in between what I really can do, what is actually in my power and what I have to leave up to God.
My allergies went through ups and downs over the years and I don't have much of them anymore today. My acne slowly disappeared in my early twenties as they do for most other people. But my back pain kept coming up often. It surprisingly disappeared for the most part, when I was working in the custom harvesting business, despite the stress with my boss. I am sure it was, because of the joy I felt with this work. It came back strongly in my current job working as a technician. I learned that it was mostly me who put the big pressure on myself and having a hard time forgiving myself for mistakes made at work. With prayer and seeking God, I overcame this anxiety and this kind of unforgiveness towards myself. Since the first of 2008 I consider myself free from back pain. Praise God and the teaching HE provided through Henry W. Wright.

In 2007 an old friend and believer from Virginia introduced me to a single lady my age by email. We started a long distance relationship. Of course I was wondering if she was "the one". My priority was to find out if she was spiritually at about the same level I was. I thought she was and made a trip to Virginia in August to meet her in person. There I learned, that she lived from paycheck to paycheck with large debt at the brink of bankruptcy. This is a big no-no for me and I told her. She was wavering over the months before and after, but decided to come and visit me in November. Since she found a way to finance the trip to Kansas, I thought, that she had made some changes to her financial habits and that was the reason for me to continue the relationship. She agreed to Garden City. We met in Florida for Christmas 2008, were all her folks lived and got engaged. The down spiral started, when I thought Valentines day was not important. It seemed unstoppable. Little by little she negated everything we had once agreed upon. She persuaded me to pay her one more trip to Kansas, just so I could hear in person what she all didn't like on me and my life. In May she ended the relationship. She had frequently complained that she did not feel loved. I did not know how to "make her feel" loved and still don't. But I found out that Jesus Christ is the perfect lover. Still there are millions of people in this world, that do not feel loved by Jesus.  So I got over the split quickly.

In summer 2008 the Verge was discontinued and so was Destal and Laurie's lifegroup. I found the garden ministry at Cornerstone for my next adventure with God. It was a huge blessing to go to the less fortunate people downtown, give them produce and then pray with them and tell them from God. I saw many tears of joy and spilled some myself. On one of these trips I met a 16 year old fatherless boy who asked me to come back. I go back to him regularly since that day and tell him from God and pray that he too will be saved soon.

In sping 2009 I took a course at K-State. I struggled with math etc. like in the old days. Suddenly my back was hurting. Oh no, I had slipped into my old ways of worrying about excelling in school again. I had to repent, lay at God's feet what I could not handle and HE healed me again. I am so glad, that God always forgives, when we repent.
Sometime later Kansas Mentor awarded J.D. and me for our great mentoring relationship and we were invited to K-State to do a TV-spot with Bill Snyder.
I also became more active in the youth ministry at Cornerstone Church, because I feel, that I have to do what I can to help save the next generation. It grieves me endlessly to see the huge number of fatherless today. That God commands us all over scripture to take care of the fatherless only confirms my passion. I want to do my best to give them that foundation of God's standards, which I never had as an adolescence.
Destal and Laurie's lifegroup was resumed. Lifegroups or homegroups are best for supportive fellowship and spiritual growth.

The Awakening

In November 2010 amazing things happened. It started with the student awakening on 11-11-09 at the International House Of Prayer in Kansas City. The following Tuesday at the little prayer group at Cornerstone, we wanted to watch the awakening meeting life on the webstream. But before we focused in on it, a lady of our group went into travail and birthed the Spirit into the midst of us. Everybody got slain in the Spirit. At first I suddenly was terribly aware of the filth we are living in and how much we need God's love and forgiveness. I quickly got touched by God's love and then drunk in the Spirit. For at least one hour I was totally unaware of anything going on around me. The following Tuesday night Duane our leader and elder interviewed everyone on what happened to him that night.
Right away I felt a strong urge for corporate prayer, that the Holy Spirit may increase and do more among us and in Garden City. I obtained a key to the OC building to join the IHOP webstream as often as possible and invite many, but very few came.
On Thanksgiving pastor Neil recited and excerpt from a prophecy given through Chuck Pierce earlier that year.

It was not until Christmas, that I found the full prophecy, which is called "Changing of the New Land" and was given through Chuck Pierce on 9-26-09 in Wichita Kansas. It turned out, that Chuck Pierce actually prophesied the awakening at IHOP. He was also explaining the religious spirit, which is quenching the Holy Spirit and is very strong among most churches especially in Kansas.
Unfortunately that same night I experienced a Christmas sermon, that made me very sad, because it spoke about all the Christmas related stuff and routines, the world uses, but have nothing to do with God and are nowhere in the bible. I felt odd and out of place until a friend called and shared the exact same feelings and conclusions.
I wanted to talk to our pastor about the awakening, praying and Christmas, but after a first response he would not answer me again to set up an appointment. I felt that no one else in the church leadership wanted to engage in the latest move of God and got very frustrated. I prayed a lot over this, especially in the OC while partaking in the IHOP awakening. On December 26, while praying, I received a vision of a war. I guess, that it will take place within the U.S., maybe in form of rioting and revolution. To my surprise a date was given to me: April 23rd 2011.

In February 2010 I visited IHOP with my "little brother" JD. I should really call him my spiritual son. He volunteered and wanted to be water baptized at IHOP - what a joy. It was a wonderful time praying for other people, being prayed over and worshipping. To my surprise I found, that I feel the Spirit just as strong at home in the OC on the internet as I did at IHOP.

Things in the youth group started to decline by the first of the year after an increase last fall. The kids had a very difficult time to engage in prayer and were not comfortable to ask for help or being prayed over by a leader. Much ministry was done in the flesh instead of the Spirit. While praying with a couple of leaders one night the Spirit lead me to Hosea 4:8, which talks about the priests reveling in the wickedness of the people. I was shocked. After more prayer I learned, that we as leaders can not do anything the youth should not do, even if it is hidden. The difference in just entertaining the youth and leading them into the things of the Spirit became much more obvious for me. Later a spiritual man pointed out the meaning of entertainment - "enter into detainment". I learned, that entertainment is another tool used by the devil to keep us from the things of God.
2 members of our youth got arrested in January. After experiencing the care for a hospitalized youth earlier, I felt like no one cared for the prisoners. But when a person is hospitalized the body is sick, which is left behind after death anyway, when a believer ascends to heaven. When a person goes to prison, however, the soul is sick and is on it's way to hell. He needs all the help he can get. Oh, was I agitated.
By the first of March I joined the prison ministry after I found where the two boys were incarcerated. I also discontinued going to the Sunday services at Cornerstone, because I head no peace about it anymore. On this night on December 26, I had asked myself for the first time "Have I outgrown Cornerstone Church?". Apparently I had to get this question answered just between me and God.
Meanwhile the prison ministry God did through me was thriving. I found many people hungry for the Word of God and many telling me, they had been attending Cornerstone. I even met a former usher among the inmates. In April 3 inmates gave there lives to Christ and 2 more outside the jail got baptized. Then I had a dream that made it clear to me, that God wanted me in the jail ministry only and I gladly cut the last ties to Cornerstone and the youth ministry there. Not even a week later the youth pastor resigned. Only one elder called me and seriously wanted to know why I left.

During all this time I was feeding a lot from IHOP, spiritually. Already in January God gave me a dream, that I would start a House of Prayer in Garden City. I just did not know how. In April HE pointed out a building to me on Main Street. I still don't know if God actually wants this building to accommodate the House of Prayer or if he was just testing my obedience, when he called me out of a prayer meeting at the OC one night. I want to be as prepared as possible and incorporated a "House of Prayer Inc." as a nonprofit with the State of Kansas in June 2010. Again I am waiting on God to show me the next step.
Until then prayer and worship is taking place at my house. For this I have rearranged the living room a little, created more space and installed a projector. My toy collection was sold a month earlier to the very displeasure of my parents. But I want the fullness of Yahweh and the Holy Spirit and I care less and less what it costs me. After reading "The Messianic Church arising" by Robert Heidler and then "Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire" by Jim Cymbala, I was very much encouraged, confirmed and directed in what I am doing.

COME HOLY SPIRIT, COME !